Saturday, December 14, 2013

Random Acts of Kindness: A Dedication to the Innocence Lost at Sandy Hook

The tragic event of the Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre on December 14, 2012 is still a haunting devastation to me. Whether you knew someone personally or not, it affected all of us. I still cry at the innocence lost that day. After the tragedy, I was angry. I was upset. I cried at the sight of the victims on the news. I wanted to cast blame. I wanted answers! As a mom, I, of course, thought, “I just can't imagine the pain those poor parents are experiencing.” But I was still able to do something those parents couldn't: I was able to hug my children a little tighter, look into their eyes a little longer, laugh at their childish antics, cheer at their ball games, smile at their triumphs....Things that were taken from those parents, one year ago today.

So last year, rather than try to make sense of it or search for answers that didn't exist, I put on my rose colored sun glasses and went in search of all that was precious and good. In a world that has a potential for so much hatred and evil, I knew that there was also a lot of kind and wonderful out there....I just had to look for it. So I went in search of “Random Acts of Kindness”. If I didn't witness someone else doing it, I did something myself. I shared these things on my Facebook pages last year, and I received so many sweet comments. It turned out to be a gift I gave myself last year that made a huge difference in how I kicked off the year 2013. It made such an impact, I decided to re-post them again this year. These posts will start tomorrow, and go for 26 days: One “Random Act of Kindness” in honor and memory of each life that was lost last year. I have read several posts over the year of my Facebook friends either being the “do-er” or “receiver” of a “Random Acts of Kindness” (or “Paying it Forward”), so please feel free to add your experience in the comments of these posts for everyone to enjoy!

This experience last year gave me more peace and motivation than I could have ever imagined. As I am usually exhausted, (and more than a little cranky) after the holidays, I had a sense of calm and hopefulness that I couldn't really explain. As is my usual business practice, the last week of the year I spend time planning the upcoming year. Last year, even though I had an extremely challenging year, I felt strangely peaceful, but excited with anticipation as I planned for 2013. This year, I changed my focus from what was wrong to what was right, and how could I make “it”, (whatever “it” might be) even better. I tried to treat people the way I thought THEY would want to be treated. I tried to be sympathetic and to understand that other people's behavior may be the reaction of something beyond their control. I tried to put myself in other peoples shoes----The guy that cut me off in traffic obviously had a much more important matter to take care of than I did.....The crabby lady in the drive-through that didn't say much more than an inaudible grunt as she handed me my bag of food was probably upset because she just got a phone call about an ill family member...The woman in the grocery store that was yelling at her kids in the middle of the store was probably stressed about paying for her groceries after learning her husband had just lost his job. Rather than being a jerk, rolling my eyes, or worse, I am humbled to realize, that could just as easily be me.

So as 2013 comes to an end, I reflect and realize how blessed I am. I live in an amazing community that makes me smile. Just yesterday, after I dropped my son off at school, I had to dash into the grocery store at the last minute. Now keep in mind, it is 7 am, and I had just thrown on a sweatshirt, yoga pants (that have NEVER been to a yoga class), and sneakers, thinking I could dash in and out and no one would pay much attention to me. Yet, as I am running back to jump into my car, a gentleman exits his car next to mine (which, at that hour, is the ONLY other one in the parking lot), throws his hand up, flashes a great big smile and shouts, “Merry Christmas, young lady!” How could you not smile and have a great day after that! I smile at how blessed I am that my son has amazing teachers youth leaders and baseball coaches that are molding and shaping him into the man he is going to be someday. I smile because my son has chosen the most amazing kids as friends, that any mama would be proud of! I smile because both our girls are hard-working college students. I smile when they come home for the holidays and want to experience the same old family traditions. I smile because I am blessed with an amazing, responsible husband that is a wonderful provider and also an awesome dad to our three kids.

I realize how blessed I am to work for a company that is a perfect fit for me. My broker is quite simply: amazing. My colleagues are like an extended family and all are simply wonderful. Our administrative staff just couldn't be any better. We are all blessed with a beautiful work environment at Golden Key Realty. And lastly, by finally taking a leap of faith, I have one more blessing: my newly hired assistant that has the same passion and enthusiasm for my business as I do!

I realize how blessed I am to have the most amazing clients. They entrust me to help them with one of the largest, most important purchases they will make in their lifetime. They share their families with me. They share their dreams with me. We share lots of laughs, and yes, sometimes tears.


So take a look around you and count your blessings. Then pass along some of the goodness in your heart by helping someone that could use a little kindness. Do it in memory of the precious babies and teachers that lost their lives last year. I will guarantee you this: The more kindness you give, the more you will receive!
 

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

One Shoe

One of the things I always struggled with as a working mom was whether or not I was doing the right thing for my kids by not being at home all day, every day.  Being one of four kids, my mom had her hands full, and was a stay-at-home mom.  (I grew up in the late 60s, early 70s, so this was pretty common at the time.)  She stayed busy not only putting food on the table, clean clothes on our backs and keeping a spotless house for us to come home to, but getting us to and from dance lessons, football practices, cheerleading practices, swimming and diving practice, piano lessons, and the like.  Then she made sure she and my dad attended and/or chaperoned every single game, meet, recital and performance for all four of us.  I watched her do all these things, in what appeared to me, effortlessly.
 
When I first got out of college and started my first professional job, I did a pretty good job balancing a career, husband and making sure the bills were paid, food was on the table, clothes were washed and the house was clean.    Several years later, adding a child to the picture made it necessary to tweak my schedule and change a few things here and there to still get it all done.  My mom had set the bar pretty high to begin with, and adding a full-time job into the mix made for a challenge I was determined to conquer.  I managed to pull it off, but it was exhausting.  I always felt like rather than letting anything slide, I had to keep up the same standard I had been raised to expect and had maintained up until then.  The biggest problem was that I could not seem to shake the guilt I think a lot working moms suffer from:  Should I make some major adjustments and stay at home, or is it ok to work outside the home? 

As my kids are older now, (two of them are in college, and one is in middle school), I have finally decided I made the right decision.  I am proud of my family and the lessons we have learned from watching each other.  I taught my kids a heck of a lot along the way, and I did it as a working mom.  All three of my kids can cook, clean, do the laundry, mow the yard, socialize with adults and children alike, have manners and respect for others, and know right from wrong.  In addition to juggling schedules and multi-tasking, my kids unknowingly taught me not to doubt myself and that that they really do pay attention!

I love sitting back, watching and listening to my kids.  I love it when they repeat something I have taught them when I thought they weren’t paying attention. I love it when the girls call us from college to report great news about their grades or classes.   I love it when my son asks me about a particular Bible verse that he can quote, but can’t remember exactly where to find it. I love that the girls call me to get recipes for a favorite meal because now that they have their own apartments, they want to make it for someone themselves.  I love it when my son plays baseball and when he makes an amazing play, he acts the same as when he doesn’t.  (Even though Mom and Dad are in the stands acting like obnoxious fools, screaming and yelling on the great plays, “Yep!  That’s our boy!”  He acts like he’s done it before. Yep, he keeps it classy even if good ole Mom and Dad don’t!  Now come on---You know you do it, too!)  On the not-so-great plays, he just smiles and goes back to the dugout until the next time.  And I especially love that he draws a cross in the dirt every time he is up to bat, recognizing how he got there in the first place.

So what the heck does this have to do with real estate? 

Well, a LOT of what I do in my real estate career, I learned by raising my kids, running a family household and working a full-time job at the same time.  And a lot of what I learned in the business world I do at home and with my family.  Balancing a family and all that goes along with it is similar to running your own business:  There is a lot of responsibility, endless hours of work but the reward is completely worth it when you feel the unbelievable sense of accomplishment when you can sit back and see everything come together better than you ever imagined.  But the most important thing I have learned is something that I tell my kids all the time:  You never know who is going to be watching you.

A couple weeks ago, we were listening to the sermon in church.  Our newly appointed pastor was asking each and every one of us to go out and set a good example, emphasizing that people see who you are by HOW you are.  Then he said MY magic words:  “You never know who is going to be watching you.”

Ah, cool!  Confirmation that someone else, especially someone of high leadership and standard, says the same thing I do!  If I have said it once, I have said it a thousand times:   You just never know when someone is going to be watching you.

In baseball?  You practice like you intend to play, and during games you play like the best recruiter in the country is attending your game.   You always strive to perform better than even YOU think you can!  In business?  You are ALWAYS at your best because you never know when someone that can really make a difference to you is paying attention and is either going to be impressed with you or not, and take your business to a new level.  In school?  Just because it may seem like just another assignment doesn’t mean it won’t be the winning essay that gets you chosen to go on a three week trip to France!  (This, along with playing like a pro in all your volleyball practices where the right person was obviously watching, can make a difference!) 

I had a very dear client that passed away last Christmas.  He was 94 years old.  He was someone who was watching when I didn’t know it. I unexpectedly gained a mentor and friend as a result of him watching and paying attention to how I handled my business.  I met him at an Open House several years ago.  He ran into my broker one day and said, “You know that agent you have in your office, Janie Pugh?  I want her to list all my properties for me when I die.”  A bit blunt, but he was always very straightforward.  I met with him later that week, and I became the Karate Kid:  I would meet with him often, and in our conversations, realized I was learning from the best, absorbed every word, and put it into practice.  He had amazing work ethic and work/life experiences that were almost unbelievable.   During our first conversation, he told me he wanted to meet with me because after the Open House he attended where we met, he was impressed with my follow up and how I handled my business.  

Consequently, I ended up selling him 2 houses and listing and selling 3 three he already owned.  I completed a total of five transactions from one person in a period of 6 years.  What I didn’t realize until much later was that had I not made a good first impression, I would have missed out on spending time with one of America’s greatest World War II Army veterans who consequently helped me develop and polish my business skills and practices.

So I will say it again:  You never know who is going to be watching!    Just as one shoe changed Cinderella’s life, one impression can change yours!


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Friday, April 12, 2013

You Make Me Feel Like Dancing!

I got a call from my daughter the other day,  (she is out of state attending her third year of college) and heard what every parent of a college student dreads hearing:  “Um, I think I just need to take some time off to figure out what I really want to do with my life.”

What I very calmly replied was something to the effect of, “Um, over my dead body!”

Now, I didn’t REALLY say that----at least I don’t THINK I was thinking out loud.  Instead, I gave her some advice, suggestions, ideas, counsel…  Since she goes to school out of state, I can’t just say, come on over, sit down and we are going to talk (some sense into you) about it.  I have to accomplish powerful advisory sessions long-distance which can be a little tricky. 

After talking for a few minutes, I realized the bottom line:  She is burned out and doesn’t know how to handle it. Fortunately for both of us, I have been there, done that, and have a dresser full of t-shirts to prove it!

College students are certainly not the only ones that suffer from burn-out, and sometimes it is not just from keeping a busy schedule and having high expectations of themselves (and pleasing their parents).  Sometimes, you just really don’t like what you are doing, and want to get out, even if you are right in the middle of something---A process, a project, a career, a college education.  Or, it may be that you don’t like the subject or industry, or you don’t like the people you are around every day.  You may despise chemistry (or autoCAD!), or it may just be that you aren’t crazy about the professor and his/her style of teaching.  (Some classes are just impossible to make exciting and fun.)  You are probably burning the candle at both ends and are just plain exhausted. You may be depressed or you may just need a break.  You may be at a point where you just want to call it quits and go do something different.  You may be at a point where nothing is going your way and you are tired of trying, wondering why you are spending so much time and effort doing something that isn’t producing any positive results.  Day in and day out---you are frustrated that things aren’t working out the way you want them to, and the level of anxiety increases.

At this point, so many people make the biggest mistake of all:  they just give up.  But  you can’t just throw in the towel and say, “I’m done!”  You have to make a SHIFT happen, and change the way you are doing things.  Shift gears and do things differently---You don’t have to completely stop what you are doing and go find something different, you just have to continue doing what you are doing in a different way.  Shift your “how” and make it more fun and exciting. Change the music. Adjust your "vision."  Just don't start bedazzling your beakers or using your chemistry test tubes for Saturday night’s party shooters. 

2012 was a challenging year for me.  It seemed that no matter how hard I tried, there were roadblocks everywhere that kept me from reaching my goals.  I felt like I was taking one step forward, two steps back and it was a dance I didn’t know, or WANT to learn, for that matter!  I couldn’t get the steps right to turn the dance around to rock to the beat of my kind of music!  Yes, I was ready to throw in the towel and try something totally different.  I felt like I had no control over my career due to the state of the economy and floundering real estate market, and I felt completely defeated.  I thought maybe all the challenges were a sign that it was time to move onto something other than real estate.

However, (and fortunately for me) there were just as many roadblocks preventing me from finding something else as there were keeping me frustrated with what I was doing.  I was not happy, and everyone around me knew it.  I didn’t like being around myself, so I am quite sure no one else did, either.

Then I experienced shift, and it was a big one!  I attended a technology and marketing class in August.  The class was taught by Juanita McDowell with InMotion Real Estate Marketing, and everything changed.  I re-evaluated my business, changed my vision, took a different approach, incorporated several new business techniques, and it became fun again!  I realized that part of what I had been learning all these years, to focus on the parts of your job that you love and delegate or hire out the parts you don’t, I wasn’t doing.  I was also getting too caught up in what was WRONG that I couldn’t do what was RIGHT!  This way of thinking was all on me---I was the one in control.

So, according to my amazing technology instructor, the “Social Media Diva” was born. (Although I felt more like the Social Media Spongebob---SO much to learn and absorb!)  I learned about social marketing on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, blogging, business websites, personal websites, maximizing the use of video and photography, and on and on.  (This is when my original Facebook business page, www.facebook.com/JaniePughofGoldenKeyRealty really took off, and my other Facebook page, www.facebook.com/365ThingsToDoInWarnerRobinsGA was born and took on a life of its own.)  I couldn't wait to get home and develop my plan of action.  I stayed up after mignight, and got up at the crack of dawn....EVERY day.  I couldn't WAIT fo get on my computer and start putting my newfound knowledge to work.  This was the music I needed to hear to get me back out on the floor!  (I just love to dance....) 

I have always been a HUGE fan of continuing education, and Juanita’s class certainly didn’t disappoint---It just made me want to take even more classes!  When it comes time to renew my real estate license, I always have a LOT more continuing ed credits than the state requires, but I love to learn.  I take every class I can, whether it is for marketing or not.  I take classes in real estate law, ethics, contracts, real estate tax, business development, environmental hazards, technology, marketing, and so on…..I am like a sponge in these classes.  I think knowledge is power, and I want to seize every opportunity I can to learn what’s new in the real estate industry.  Being caught like a deer in the headlights and having to say, “Um, I am not sure about that, but let me get back to you on that…..” is no fun.  I need to have the answers before the question even come to mind.  Technology is advancing at a staggering rate, and I don’t want to be one of the professionals in my industry that gets left behind because I didn’t stay in the know.  The thing is, continuing ed is another shift that you can control and make happen!  Learning new techniques, methods and trends puts more great music in the room to get you moving into a more exciting career.  I attended a week long series of classes a couple weeks ago that was the first in a series of three toward getting my GRI designation.  It was an all-day, every day, jam-packed-with-information experience that left me with an “information explosion” going off in my head.  By the time I left on day five, I could hardly drive home---I was so excited to have so much new info that I couldn’t wait to use!  We had ended the week with a motivational speaker that had me ready to jump on the table and start screaming, “I love my job!!!!”  (Of course, there would be with some KC and the Sunshine Band playing loudly in the background.  After all, I gotta dance, right?!?)

So you see, I actually dodged a bullet---I almost pulled the plug and left the industry I love.  I felt like my daughter does right now---burned out, frustrated and ready to give up.  Fortunately, though, I didn’t give up, and neither will she.  I had a lot of people that believed in me and had the confidence that I would get through it.  In the long run, life is just a series of choices.  Each choice either takes you closer to your goals, or leads you away from them.  You can either take charge of your life or let your life and circumstances take charge of you.  But by taking charge, you put yourself in the driver’s seat, and you will prosper as a result.

And of course…..you will dance!

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Monday, April 8, 2013

Let's Play Ball!

Now that everyone is getting back from Spring Break and MLB (Go Atlanta Braves!) has everyone pumped and in the mood, it is time to get back into the Warner Robins American Little League (WRALL) baseball swing and PLAY BALL! Games start back up on Monday, April 8, 2013.

WRALL baseball and softball games started in March and will continue through mid-May when the various All-Star teams start preparing for the tournaments that will play through mid-August.  If you are not familiar with WRALL and the success of this local program, in addition to numerous District and State championships over the years, in 2007, the 11-12 year old division won the baseball World Series, in 2009, the 11-12 year old softball team won the World Series and in 2010, they won the 11-12 year old softball World Series. 

The success of this program is largely due to the hundreds of dedicated players, parents, coaches, and team moms that spend countless hours preparing to play in these games.  There is a lot of "behind-the-scenes" activity before the first ball is pitched, and all deserve a big THANK YOU for all the hard work!

If you are interested in attending these games, the schedules and field info are posted on the website at: www.wrall.org.  Parking and admission to the games is free, so it is the best entertainment deal in town!  If you are hungry after the game, you can find several nearby restaurants such as El Jaliscience or Casa Mexico (Mexican), the Mellow Mushroom or Stevie B’s (pizza), or Shane’s Rib Shack (barbecue).  And I am sure you will see a few hungry baseball “stars” there, too!

Here's to a wonderful baseball season!  Good luck to all these great kids! 

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Monday, April 1, 2013

It's Not How You Look, It's How You SEE

Do you have a vision that is crystal clear, or is it a little blurry?  When you look at something, is it with just a glance, or do you take the time to really SEE what it is and what it is all about?  When you change how you look at things, you change your attitude and understanding of everything around you. How you see applies not only to tangibles, but to goals, dreams and visions, both personally and professionally!

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